85/100 How Do I Define Closeness?
An Exploration
I’m on the way to becoming friends with someone at work, and recently they asked me a powerful question:
“How do you define closeness?”
If you paused or tilted your head in wonderment, we are the same. This is a powerful question that I do not think many take time to consider. I attempt to do so here now.
My first thought was as a measure of silence. I normally feel the graceful release of having to perform a social persona or actively care for someone. For example, an ideal kind of date for me is to simply read together somewhere nice. I think this is a direct route to heaven on earth. In this space, where is the closeness?
I see it here in the sharing of presence but the liberty to pursue independence. It is also a sharing of something I love. Reading makes life worth it in the same way that imagining life without music would be a mistake.
Is closeness the common participation in something loved?
I’ve certainly had moments of closeness in friendships as well. I carry with me precious memories of taking hikes with friends, but more specifically, there is something about hiking that seems to invite “deep conversations” of me. The ideas, desires, worries shared in these natural temples is a unique thing.
Is closeness a feature of uniqueness? Meaning, is it a part of an experience that cannot be replicated but repeated?
A commonality in these memories is that there is also an element of candor here. I am vulnerable in each space. Reading is time (usually) when my guard is down. In the process of opening myself open to new ideas, I am unguarded. Tread softly. It is the same in these nature conversations where we are exposing fears and wishes about life.
Is closeness a result of a willingness-unto-vulnerability?
Your turn.
More soon,
Trevor