On Mantras 1/2
Why I Start My Day with "Remember You're Here"
I think the need for it started after I realized we were going to break up. I think the practice of it started when I realized I had no time to waste.
The first night was sleepless. Losing a partner is a heavy experience, and when I woke up the next morning after realizing we were going to break up, it felt like I had no time to lose. I needed to get my act together in such a specific way as to avoid getting demolished in this life transition.
I started a few habits then. You’re reading one now. I started my return to writing by starting with simple, daily journaling. I would write bullet points of thoughts and repeat ideas I wanted to carry with me into the day (“I am worthy of love,” “I invite stillness; it is my guest,” “I am”). I needed to figure out if I was going to leave my then-job or also job hunt while moving. I needed to figure out if I were going to leave the city, and then if so, I had people to say goodbye to. Suddenly, I needed a new place to live.
In the process of getting things together, I took a stronger turn to this self-optimizing way of life. Each day was a gift and time felt limited as I started to imagine my life beyond Boston and in some random city I hadn’t realized just yet.
As a part of this relaunch, I set up a series of routines with Google Assistant. I have had a sleep reminder since then. Which, honestly, is a little wild, but it is very helpful. There is a type of freedom of not needing to check what time it is to make sure I get good rest that night, and I enjoy letting myself rest more freely in the evenings. The phone will remind me when it’s time to get back into routine and start winding things down.
A part of this new routine feature was a request that this AI tell me two things each day. At night, it would tell me “good job today” because each day I was working my ass off to get things in order. And each morning, it would say to me “remember you’re here.”
Remember you’re here
In the final days of Boston, that phrase signified something like “time to go.” Here, in my two-year approach of my new home in DC, it has signified something as “feel victorious.” This mood of my morning sings out as I gaze through the park by my home and notice simple things, the trees or people walking, or as I take a morning walk. I love it here.
As I have gotten more familiar with things here and my new life, this saying has brought a new character to my day. It brings something more like “remember you are alive,” and this is a heavy thing. It is also empowering. It is my morning call to life.
When I am finishing a workout: remember you’re here.
When I am making coffee: remember you’re here.
When I am dreading the day: remember you are here.
When it is cold and the morning is quiet and strange and there is no one in sight: remember you’re here.
When I feel golden with the lightness of a full day unplanned in a city I love: remember you’re here.
When I have shame for being a bad friend and still fail to text back people that I love: remember you’re here.
When there is at last the pursuit of a new idea, and I know where I want to be to follow it and ask it questions: remember you’re here.
This mantra is a ready one. I depend on it for many things. It reminds me to play defense of things I cherish and to rage for the things I love.
That said, I am detecting a certain disquiet about it. I would love to share that with you next week.
Trevor
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