Questions from a Financially Un-Viable Guy in 2022
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A moment of maturity for me was realizing that luxury is just a hobby and not the inevitable growth or sign of a successful life.
That said, I’m writing about money today. Again.
I offer this list in the spirit of Samantha Irby. The last book of hers I read was more funny than TikTok or a Netflix special, so if you’re gnarly, go read her. If you’re not gnarly, just realize there are very fun things happening right now without you.
Questions from a Financially Un-Viable Guy in 2022:
$ Dating Scene: What, really, is a ‘foodie’ and why are you still that? It was cute 10 years ago. I have been ready to assume that we all eat, often, even. So I’m not sure how to connect with that as a quality, and I resist it because it probably means I can’t afford even just the literal basic element (food, for fuck sake) of your day, let alone a full date with you
$ Dating Scene: Who does not like traveling? Is there really anyone out there who actively does not want to go to wonderful places? Seriously, show me one person who would think that going to the Necropolis in Cairo, Egypt would be boring, in fact so boring that they wouldn’t go at all. How is traveling a hobby for you people?
$ Is it a turn-off / red flag that I need to cash out on my Capital One Reward points to afford this night out with you?
$ How much longer will I need to pretend that the tapas style of dining is a fun and nice thing? Every plate costs probably $10 and would fit in the palm of my hand. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve faked a smile about the Cheese-it sized dish coming my way that threatens me at gun point of setting me back a month of savings
$ How much longer will I keep up the weird dance about paying for the entire dinner with a Robert-De-Niro-frown and practiced non-glance at the total when laying down my card?
$ If I put in this utilities request for the leaking ceiling in the hallway, will I get billed for it even though it objectively affects us all?
$ What is mold, and why does it absolutely destroy a whole house? Why does renter’s insurance not cover it when it’s probably the strongest reason-for-being of their “support”?
$ When is the cut-off age for gift giving? I have been able to afford maybe 4 or 5 meaningful gifts per year since I was about 17. Let’s address the actual question: do we really need ‘stuff’?
More soon,
Trevor