Thoughts on Maturing and Escaping pt 1
Why Representation Matters
With maturity, I’ve seen moments in my life where I could have become someone else entirely had things gone even just slightly differently.
From as broad as “if I had different friends growing up” to more specific moments of “what if she hadn’t been as compassionate while we were breaking up?” Had I not been influenced to work on healing and growing, I might be someone of this “red pill” misogynist trend today, or had I not been so low with self esteem, I might be someone much more toxic. It feels as If I’ve dodged a bullet sometimes.
There came a point where this was an active consideration for me. Once, an ex-girlfriend and I were out with a friend group. We were stopping for coffee, then headed to a shop for our apartment, and ending with a movie. It was a wonderful day, and I was happy for it. For those of you who know me personally, you know what I mean when I say I was stoked. I was hollering around, smiling my face off, and carried joy for the day with me.
These are annoying qualities to some.
I remember my ex telling me, in front of everyone, to quiet down and explaining to the others that I “get like this sometimes.” “Fuck that. What you’re hearing is personality,” I said. “You could be dating any ordinary tech dude or finance bro if you need something more ordinary.” The group agreed, though I do wonder why tech and finance came to mind.
How is it that I became who I am?
More soon,
Trevor